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by kenn on 8/17/2004 08:21:00 AM

Jay-Z Mix‚'n Match, but Not With Thee or Me

Since Jay-Z's retirement, it seems the hip-hop mogul has been making the rounds with a couple of surprise performances.
About a month ago with Phish on stage in Brooklyn and most recently, Jay hooked up with Linkin Park at Los Angeles' Roxy for the pilot of MTV's "Mashups."

Linkin Park and Jay-Z together, cool, but not shocking. Apparently, they performed "Big Pimpin'‚" with LP's song "Papercut" and "Encore/Numb."

Phish and Jay-Z? Now that's definitely a strange combination.

So this funny (well, I think it's funny) idea entered hy head, what other performers should Jay-Z hook up with in order to make some interesting headlines?

This is what I came up with:

Jay-Z and Tim McGraw.

I can picture it now, McGraw with his oh-so-tight jeans and black cowboy hat with Jay in his own fabulous attire performing a mix of McGraw's "All I Want is a Life" and Jay's "Big Pimpin'."

Now that's a crowd shocker. Forget bringing out his wife Faith Hill to perform. We want Jay-Z.

Next up

Jay-Z and The Brady Bunch.

Jay could turn the bubble-gum pop of "It's a Sunshine Day" into a real song. Try mixing in "H to the Izzo."

"H to the izz O, V to the izz A/ Fa shizzle my nizzle used to dribble down in V-A/

I think I'll go for a walk outside now/ the summer sun's callin' my name (I hear ya now)/H to the izz O, V to the izz A/ That's the anthem get ya damn hands up/ I just can't stay inside all day/ I gotta get out get me some of those rays/ H to the izz O, V to the izz A/ Not guilty y'all got to feel me/ Everybody's smilin'/ Sunshine day."

Those sheltered Brady kids wouldn't know what hit them. Besides, Marsha might give Beyonce a run for her money.

Jay-Z and Luciano Pavarotti.

No disrespect to the tenor, but wouldn't it be quite a sight to see all those people, dressed in their nice attire, sitting quietly, enjoying the amazing roar of Pavarotti's voice, suddenly dancing on the seats and getting freaky on the dance floor?

Jay-Z and Hilary Duff.

Now, I really don't enjoy Duff's music, but this could make it tolerable. Besides, I would love to see Duff's sweet and innocent face when Jay reached the stage.

You'd have mother's and daughters shaking in their boots.

Finally,

Jay-Z and The Dixie Chicks.

Those opinionated and outspoken chicks might have more in common with Jay-Z than they think. Try mixing "99 Problems" and "Goodbye Earl" and we'd have quite the sing-a-long.

Jay-Z, forget about Beyonce and rumors of marriage, the fans have spoken and this is what they want.

In other news Aug. 16 was the 27th anniversary of Elvis Presley's death and just in time a public housing department in Memphis, Tenn., where he spent his teenage years was opened to the public for tours.

Called the Uptown Square, it's been renovated to create 347 apartments renting from $500-$1000 a month. Ultimately, the 689-square-foot apartment that was home to Presley from 1949-1953 will be a hotel suite like no other.

Also, no other festival has created such a cultural phenomenon like Woodstock, which turns 35 Aug. 15-17.

People from all over are making their way back to that hay field in Bethel, N.Y. to pay homage.

To be released today

Snoop Dogg, Wayne Dogg and Warren G. work out in the new group identity 213 on the decade-in-the-making ``The Hard Way," white girl rap trio Northern State goes "All City," Mavis Staples reminds us to "Have a Little Faith" and many more.

Here are some upcoming shows that might be of interest:

º Chicago, Earth, Wind & Fire, 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, Greek Theatre, 2700 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles. Tickets: $ 49.75-89.75. Information: 213) 480-3232.

º Incubus with Sparta, 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, Arrowhead Pond, 2695 E. Katella Ave., Anaheim; 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, Great Western Forum, 3900 W. Manchester Blvd., Inglewood. Tickets: $32.50. Information: (213) 480-3232.

º Van Halen, 7:30 p.m. Thursday, Staples Center, 1111 S. Figueroa St., Los Angeles. Tickets: $60-$95. Information: (213) 480-3232.

º Moto Music Mayhem with Pennywise, Social Distortion and more, noon Saturday, National Orange Show, 689 S. E St., San Bernardino. Tickets: $27-$100. Information: (213) 480-3232.

º Toby Keith, 7:30 p.m. Saturday, Staples Center, 1111 S. Figueroa St., Los Angeles. Tickets: $45-$60.75. Information: (213) 480-3232.

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