RocaBlog: So I take you're a little undone with them now?

Alvin: Look at me, duke. I used to be a fucking star and now I barely make rent. I had to do this one gig dressed as a fucking Powerball Z character. That's DISRESPECT! I was there before them slanty-eyed fuckers, man! I was running shit on the airwaves…Simon and Theo? Man, please! I was the star of this fucking show. I can't play second fiddle to some funny talking spiked haired fags! I'm a star…I'm undone with EVERYONE! Even these two worthless fucks I live with. I can't take this shit anymore, man.

(Alvin is sobbing uncontrollably)

RocaBlog: I'm posing this question to the entire band. How are all the legal troubles shaping up?

Simon: Well…I was able to prove that while I did father two chipmunks with a young lass in the borough of Queens, the third child she claimed was my own wasn't mine at all. She was a harlot anyway and I knew this of her. I'm not able to discuss my other legal issues as they are still pending. For real, for real -- just keep in mind that I'm a just chipmunk trying to get a nut.

RocaBlog: Theodore can you put your shirt back on?

Theodore: I don't get into trouble like my brothers unless it involves food and a naked chipmunk.

Alvin: Same shit. I did my time for the bank shit and what not. I know I'm a small cat so motherfuckers in jail always fucked with me. I'm saying…I spent so much solitary time it wasn't even funny. I had to shank so many dudes, man. I'm a survivor. But legally I can't discuss no more than that.

RocaBlog: Do you plan to release any new material in the coming year or is performing the way to go?

Alvin: Well..I'm coming out with a rap joint like I said earlier. And I want to do some Spanish-language songs - that Latin shit is the hotness. I'm trying to get paid on some Marc Anthony shit.

Simon: It's been difficult but with nostalgia being all the rage and the whole "full-circle" concept of music, I'm confident we'll do something the fans can and will enjoy. Plus cocaine prices are skyrocketing and I need to supplement my habit income.

Theodore: As long as the food's there, I'm there. Feed me and I'm playing.

Alvin: Yo man…I think we're done here. I'm starting to finger my gun's trigger a little too much and it'd be a good idea if we wrapped this up.

RocaBlog: Ahem…any last thoughts? Any words of wisdom you'd like to impart?

Simon: Whores are our friends. Anyone who'd give you oral favors for 25 bucks is nothing but a pal in the end.

Theodore: I'm gonna be looking cute when we go on tour, ya'll so holla!

Alvin: Man…fuck you and loan me 10 dollars before I hurt you. Stop the tape. Stop the fucking tape already!!